Monday Random–fare polpette di qualcuno

The building peeking out from under the Italian Village sign is the Hyatt Center

• Sometimes things are worse than they seem
• Sometimes they are better than they seem because of the person we are with
• Sometimes–the person we are with is a better person than we give them credit for
• And at times–they are putting up with us and that is even harder than what they are dishing out. But–often it is in equal measure
• We needed to have a really good day, to make up for the last two weeks
• When bad times accumulate, they feel bigger than they really are, and it only takes a laugh sometimes to break that bubble

let’s talk about

he doesn’t like
when I whisper
another name in bed
when I am far away
and he cannot be sure
just where

he doesn’t like it
when I disappear
during a conversation
it hurts his feelings
if I do not listen
or pretend to have
listened

wearing a new cologne
after so many years
raises a flag
an angry red warning
that the ground beneath
he and me
may be made of sand

my confidence
coming back after the wreck
mentally-physically-emotionally
being so long
there
then suddenly
here

brings relief
but more than a little
doubt

eaten up

the days have nibbled at time
until there are so few
that I wonder what will become of me
of this life strewn about
the shelves full of longing
the appetites stowed away
in kitchen cabinets

what is to be done with
unfulfilled expectations
eating up the real dreams
too many to mention
too few to expect
a world to notice

so I look to you to be my beacon
you will hold my secrets
gathered and trimmed
stacked neatly with lavender
your smile falling on the brown paper
my cologne seeped into each memory

some tossed out for a future
that will not recognize their worth
but will leave with me
held close to my bosom
some released to the wind
hoping that it will be kind

this life of mine
relegated to boxes
un-openable to anyone
but to those
who will understand

 

Making supper

Rubbing salt and olive oil over the meat
I recall my boyfriend in 1986
he didn’t love me and I didn’t know what love was
besides some fluffy feeling I used to get
listening to Elvis Presley

When he took me out I was scared
as he was nothing like anyone I had known
but when we got alone in the dark
before he was ready to take me home
it was me he was frightened of

Tenderizing the pork shoulder
I can’t help but wonder what became of him
if he kept zooming 21-year-old’s
in dark parking lots, or if he settled down
with the bartender with the teased hair

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breeze through the screen
leaves the heat out on the road
the haze drifted off
yesterday’s humid coma
fighting it out with the clouds